| August Update.... |
[Saturday
August 4th] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 Headache |
] |
Hey all...Here's another update...
So nothing really too new going on. The most important and exciting thing that has happened is that I moved out. Leonard and I got a place. Well it was the place that I lived in before when I had moved out the first time. We actually moved out last weekend and it's been a week today living together. Let me tell you that it's the greatest feeling ever! :) I'm so happy and to be honest, I didn't think I could ever be this happy in my entire life. I'm glad that I get to experience this. :)
I'm on another leave from school. I took it mainly because I was starting to get stressed with move and some things have come up and I was going to miss school for so I thought it wise to just take a leave. Now I'm thinking that maybe I won't go back until like late September or something. I think I just need to get my bearings together or something. I'm so ready to just quit. :\ I know that it sounds bad but I just can't help it. Going for 7 hours on Saturdays just kill me. :\ It really sucks. I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet but we'll see. I don't know at this point.
Last Thrusday was my birthday. I turned 22 and it was an okay day. I had to work 11 to 4 and then I didn't really do too much. I got a ton of phone calls and my mom and dad bought me a comfortor for my bed and gave me $20. Stephanie bought me 2 books that I've been dying for. And the Leonard got me a CD that I wanted and plus about a month ago, he bought me this DVD series that I wanted so it was an okay b-day. I was really upset though because I wanted Steve to call me and wish me a happy birthday but...I didn't get a call/email/comment on myspace or anything from him. :( Him and I were so close at one point and I know were not dating anymore but...I still got him something for his bday and I called him. I think that it just makes me realize that he doesn't care about me anymore like I thought he did and we're just not friends anymore. *unhappy sigh* There's nothing that I can do about it though. I tried. I've been trying. His girlfriend has him on such a short leash that he can't do anything without her I swear. Oh well. It's not my problem anymore.
Tomorrow, my grandma's side of the family is having a family reunion and I'm really looking forward to that. I'm a little stressed though because Leonard's brother is going with us because he's staying the night and he embarrasses me a little bit. It's just going to be weird. So anyways, like I said, I"m looking forward to seeing all my family on my grandma's side again. :) Yeays.
So that's about it that's been going on. HOpe you had fun reading.
Amy
|
|
| Survery Thing.... |
[Monday
March 26th] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
FOUR JOBS I HAVE HAD
1. Cashier at Borders
2. Office Assistant
3. Nanny
4. Overnight Stock
FOUR MOVIES I HAVE WATCHED OVER AND OVER
1. Judy Garland: Me and My Shadows
2. The Longest Yard
3. Life as a House
4. Road Trip
FOUR PLACES I HAVE LIVED:
1. Roseville, MI
2. Shelby Twp., MI
3.
4.
FOUR TV SHOWS I LIKE TO WATCH:
1. Roseanne
2. All My Children
3. American Idol
4. Ghost Whisperer
FOUR PLACES I HAVE BEEN ON VACATION:
1. Kings Island, OH
2. Cedar Point, OH
3. Sea World, OH
4. Frankenmuth, MI
FOUR OF MY FAVORITE FOODS:
1. Pasta
2. Lasagna
3. Pizza
4. Chicken Tenders
FOUR PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:
1. At Leonard's
2. Hawii
3. Anywhere but Home
4. At my Aunt's house
|
|
| To My Friends... |
[Monday
March 19th] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bored |
] |
Hey all. Well, this weekend was a good one. I love Leonard so much. Anyways, the reason for this entry is to tell something to all my friends. I'm sorry if you guys have felt neglected or whatever. I've been down lately and I guess sorta lazy. I haven't felt like going out and doing anything because #1 I have no money and #2 because I'm depressed. It sucks. Anyways, I'm dedicating my Monday's and Friday's to my friends if they wanna hang out. Although I'd have to make adjustments for things I have to get done and whatever (cleaning, errands, shopping, etc.) I just wanted to let all my friends know that I'm sorry. This was actually inspired by Steve since I'm feeling left out as a friend. He's always with his girlfriend and whatever and I miss him being my friend. So...I just wanna tell everybody how sorry I am and I love you all.
Amy
|
|
| Does this make any sense? |
[Wednesday
March 14th] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 confused |
] |
I have a quick question. I know this may sound stupid or something but has anybody ever had a dream and you wake up and you feel like you love the person you dreamt about???
I had this kind of romantic dream even though I have a boyfriend and I feel like I love the guy I dreamt about. Does that make any sense? Has anybody else felt like that before??? I feel so horrible since I have a boyfriend. Cause in the dream I actually cheated on my boyfriend with this man and now I come out of the dream and I can't stop thinking of him. UGH! I'm stupid.
|
|
| FRIENDS ONLY |
[Friday
January 19th] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bored |
] |
Comment and asked to be added....
Amy
|
|
| Updo turned out great! |
[Wednesday
January 10th] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 happy |
] |
Well, I did a great job on my updo for my final. My overall grade in class was a 93! :D That makes me happy. I ended up doing something totally different than I expected and did something that was more of my original design. It didn't turn out bad and I was actually really proud of it but then after I got home, I figured maybe I could've done something more exotic instead of something more simple. *Shrug* I don't know. I think I'm going to go and get some film tomorrow and take pictures of it or something and try and post it on here. We'll see...Other than that, nothing new. Good night everybody!
Amy
|
|
| Books of 2006 |
[Sunday
December 31st] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
Hey all. I just thought since this is the last day of 2006 that I would post what books I've read for the year. Such a variety too I guess. *Shrug* Anyways, here it is....
1.The Unwelcome Child by Teresa Pampellonne
2.Magic In The Wind by Christine Feehan
3.Dark Desire by Christine Feehan
4.Badlands Boysby Maggie Shayne
5.Forever Dad by Maggie Shayne
6.The Sun Witch by Linda Winstead Jones
7.The Moon Witch by Linda Winstead Jones
8.The Star Witch by Linda Winstead Jones
9.Girl In The Shadows by V.C. Andrews
10.The Horse and His Boy by C.S. Lewis
11.Goddess of the Sea by P.C. Cast
12.Goddess of Light by P.C. Cast
13.The Husband She Couldn't Remember by Maggie Shayne
14.Twilight Begins by Maggie Shayne
15.Goddess of Spring by P.C. Cast
16.That Mysterious Texas Brand Man by Maggie Shayne
17.Goddess of the Rose by P.C. Cast
18.The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
19.A Whisper of Eternity by Amanda Ashley
20.The Dark Horse by Patricia Simpson
21.Twilight Illusions by Maggie Shayne
22.At Twilight by Maggie Shayne
23.Twilight Vows by Maggie Shayne
24.Twilight Hunger by Maggie Shayne
25.Embrace the Twilight by Maggie Shayne
26.Run From Twilight by Maggie Shayne
27.Edge of Twilight by Maggie Shayne
28.Blue Twilight by Maggie Shayne
29.Dangerous Tides by Christine Feehan
30.Night's Kiss by Amanda Ashley
31.Under Her Spell by Maggie Shayne
32.Darkfest by Amanda Ashley
33.Prince Caspian by C.S. Lewis
34.A Skeleton In God's Closet by Paul L. Maier
35.The Second Summer of the Sisterhood by Ann Brashares
36.Girls In Pants by Ann Brashares
37.Becoming Anna by Anna Michener
38.Please Stop Laughing At Me by Jodee Blanco
39.Guilty Pleasures by Laurell K. Hamilton
40.Witch Child by Celia Rees
41.Divine by Mistake by P.C. Cast
42.Prince of Twilight by Maggie Shayne
43.Broken Flower by V.C. Andrews
44.Witchcraft by Jayne Ann Krentz
45.Get-R-Done by Larry the Cable Guy
46.Absence of Nectar by Kathy Hepinstall
47.A Husband In Time by Maggie Shayne
48.Daydream Believer by Maggie Shayne
49.Dark Angel by Karen Harper
50.Everything She Does Is Magick by Maggie Shayne
51.Divine by Choice by P.C. Cast
52.Dangerous Lover by Christine Feehan
53.Elphame's Choice by P.C. Cast
54.Brighid's Quest by P.C. Cast
Total Number of Pages Read: 16,559
Man oh Man...that is a lot of pages. I'm hoping for 2007 that I'll be able to read more books and more pages! :) Let's hope.
Amy
|
|
| Food For Children |
[Friday
November 3rd] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 accomplished |
] |
I received this thing in the mail that is asking me to donate money to an organization called Feed The Children. Basically what it is, however much money you send them, they send so many pounds of food out to help feed children for the holiday season. Here's the website if you all wanna check it out.... www.food4children.com
I plan on sending some money to them, but I wanted to know if you all wanted to donate as well. If you want to donate money through me, let me know and I'll give you my address and you can send me a check and I'll send you a copy of the slip of paper that I'm sending with it and how much money I am sending back. I'm hoping to raise quite a bit of money. I think it's a good cause. If you wish to send a donation for yourself, go to that website.
Happy Holidays Everybody
|
|
| A Boring Update... |
[Saturday
September 23rd] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
I haven't updated since 9/11. I've been more of a Myspace person then an LJ fiend like I was. LJ has gotten very boring lately. I don't know why. :\ Anyways, I figured that I should update for those of YOU that don't have a Myspace.*cough**Steapie**Cough* ;)
Steve and I are NOT back together. I'm not sure if we will be getting back together. Most likely not since we have NOT been getting along and I don't know if I'll ever be able to believe anything that he says. I do wanna stay friends with him though because he is like my best friend. He knows me better than anybody so we'll see how things go. Play it by ear I guess. :\
Another person is leaving me in the time of my life. My teacher Ms. Nicaise can not handle the emotional stress from having day and night classes and then her father having cancer. I understand her reasons for leaving, I'm not a cold hearted bitch, but the fact remains that...she's our teacher. She's been my rock. I wouldn't be in school if it wasn't for her. :\ I'm extremely overwhelmed by it that's for sure. Today was her last day with us and then we're joining Ms. Dee's class which I guess won't be so bad. I heard that Ms. Dee isn't a very good teacher so ...I"m kinda scared about that here. Like I won't get the education that I deserve or something. I do like the girls that are in Ms. Dee's class though. We'll see how things go.
Anyways, so today was our teacher's last day. I went and got bagels from Panera this morning and saw MEGAN! :) Yeays. Um, then we went over our "brain conditioner" which is our test review thing and went then did our last cut for our graduation book. It didn't turn out too bad actually. Then we had lunch where we pitched in and bought her lunch from P.F. Chiangs from Somerset Mall which was awesome. They have great food. Then we got the rest of the day for "personal services" which means that my teacher cut MY hair. It looks beautiful. If I can get my camera to work, I'll try and take some pictures and post. I have a ton of pictures that I was supposed to post here but just haven't yet. So yes...
Other than that, nothing much has been happening. I'm getting fed up with my brother and Wendy. They tried to tell me Friday, that I don't need to put Ella down for 2 naps anymore. So I wasn't going to. At around 4:45pm that lil girl came and started putting her head on my lap. :\ They don't know what they're talking about when they say she doesn't need 2 naps a day. Fuck them. They aren't there to see if she needs a nap. Whatever...I'm just getting pissed off with all of their bullshit. Please...I know how to take care of a child. I've been taking care of HER since January...ALMOST a year! I helped raise Michael and Manda! What the fuck?!
So yes other than that, nothing has been going on. I haven't heard from Jolene in a while so I better email her soon. :) Talk to everyone later.
Amy
|
|
| Remembering 9/11 |
[Monday
September 11th] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crappy |
] |
5 years ago I walked into my Creative Writing class and sat down thinking that life sucks and wishing that I were dead for some reason or another...(probably because of my dad) and then the TV is turned on and I was the Twin Towers in NY burning because of a terrorist attack on our country. I watch as a second plane hits the other tower and watch in horror as people are running down the street screaming and frantic and coated with ash. I was as people jump from the towers before they start to collapse and my heart goes out to these people wondering just how bad it was up there that they chose to jump to their death instead of trying to live through that tramatic experience. I wonder if I would've done the same thing. I'll never be sure.
Here we are 5 years later however, still letting foreigners come into our country. Still letting these horrible people frighten us and create havoc around us. How stupid is our government to let this happen. My opinion is that we should ship out all the foreigners of the US at LEAST until the war is over...although I would hope that the government wouldn't even let them back in. I think OUR government should PROTECT us first and foremost no matter that OUR country is viewed as the free land. It's bull shit. We're supposed to be a land of opportunity and yet half of the US is out of jobs and broke as hell and all these foreigners are wealthy and have the money to do what they please while we stand back and let this happen.
All those people died in 9/11 and we keep them in our prayers and remember this day that foreigners tried to crush us with their evilness. However, why are we not keeping the soldiers in our prayer that are over in the devil land dying? We don't realize the damage that is being done. We're so naive to what is going on around us...until something like 9/11 has happened and then we cry when people are dying everyday for a country that doesn't have the balls to do what is nessessary for it's people. Ever since 9/11 I have been ashamed to be an AMERICAN because it means that we are cowards for not standing up and trying to protect our country and our loved ones like we should.
Amy
|
|
| Everybody's Leaving Me. |
[Sunday
September 10th] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crushed |
] |
Today my heart feels like it is being sucked out of my chest. Tomorrow my sister is leaving for the Keys in Flordia and I won't be seeing her until Christmas time. How to handle this I'm not sure but when I even think about her leaving, my eyes well up with tears. Her and I haven't spent a whole lot of time together and we never used to get a long in the past...and here I am crying because I don't want her to leave. We just started getting to know one another and hanging out and everything and she leaves. I'm going to miss her terribly but what can I do. She's going down there with a friend to join his business and she thinks that she'll be making like $500/week and since she's in debt...she needs to do this. I'm afraid that she's going to get caught up in Florida and the Keys and never wanna come home but yet my heart tells me that she's a family girl and will come running back to us. :( I want her to go so she can come home and not have to worry about bills anymore and things like that but I don't want her to go because I can't stand that she won't be there for me if I have a problem or for whatever reason. I mean, she's the party girl type and I, just turning 21, haven't really gotten to do much with her. I know our other sister Dawn, is torn up about it too as in our whole family. Me and Jolene used to go to Dawn's and have the BEST time there...like there is no other place I'd rather be then with my two sisters. Now Jolene is leaving and I have no one to go with me to Dawn's house. :( It's pretty sad. I sit here crying when I know that I shouldn't be but I can't help it. She's coming back and here I am acting over emotional because of all this. I feel stupid. But I'm going to miss her SOOOO much. I feel like I'm losing everybody that I talk to with problems and all the people that I love.
Amy
|
|
| Fuck Men! |
[Saturday
September 9th] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sleepy |
] |
Men suck! I guess I'll have to explain later. :(
All I know that dating again sucks ass!!!!!!!
Amy
|
|
| Labor Day Weekend...Very Detailed... |
[Monday
September 4th] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cheerful |
] |
Update time....
Friday: Mike didn't have to work but he is watching his bosses mother's house for her which he does quite a bit. I still had to go over there early in the morning to watch the kids until around 1:30ish. Then I got to go home, rush around to get things done since I was going up north with Steve for a couple of days. At this point, I wasn't looking forward to going since of everything that has happened between us. :\ Steve came and picked me up and we went to the post office and bank real quick and then we were on our way. We did agrue a little in the car and express our feelings to one another about the different things that has happened. I ended up telling him about Jason (that guy I met online) on Thrusday night so we talked about that and of course, he's not happy about it which I didn't think he would be. I told him that we weren't together since he fucked up so at this point, I can do what I want. We eventually had a good time and everything by listening to the music of my new CD Rhianna and we were just being silly. When we got up there, his family had already eaten dinner and so we heated up the food and ate which I wasn't thrilled with but...Oh well. Then we watched the Marathon of NEXT...that TV show on MTV. That was so funny. I love his family so much. Then off to bed everybody went.
Saturday: Woke up kinda sore since Steve and I had to sleep on the futon which is NOT comfortable one bit. I ended up pushing him off sometime during the night though. *shrug* I can't help it that I pushed him off though. Anyways, we hung out at the cottage most of the morning/afternoon. Then we went into town and went to the stores for a lil bit. I found the cutest outfit for Ella for her b-day and only paid $7.00 for it. I hope that when she grows out of it I can have it back though for when I have a little girl. IF I have a little girl but it's so precious. I shoulda taken a picture of it. So then we went back to the cottage and just chilled out with Steve's family before dinner. I got to talk to his mom about everything that has been going on between Steve and I. It was a good conversation though. I know she doesn't fault me since she probably wouldn't stay in a relationship if her man was doing the same thing. So all in all, we had a long chat and she understands what's going on and everything. Her and Steve took and walk and talked to so from what I understand, he said that after he talked to her it made him open his eyes and he wants to be only with me and he said that he wouldn't do anymore of this crap and lying but I told him that I still have to see a change first before I even think about getting back together with him. So yeah, later that night, we all played games and then we watched Benchwarmers. That movie cracks me up everytime I swear. Then we all went to bed and I got a better nights sleep since I took some sleeping pills. What I'd do without sleeping pills sometimes is beyond me.
Sunday: We left the cottage around 9am after eating breakfast. It took us a little longer to get home than usual because of traffic and people driving slow. So Steve dropped me off at home. I showered and got ready and then had to go out and finish shopping for Ella's b-day party. I ended up getting her that one outfit, a pair of tennis shoes, 2 movies of the Doodlebops, and then a Seasme box set with 3 DVD's in it. So in the end, I think my money was well spent. Steve and I went to Ella's bday party which was awesome. I had a great time and I got to see Egor (my lizard) since he was staying at Mike's while we were up north. I missed him. I think he was happy to see me. :) Ella got a lot of clothes!!! I swear she's going to be styling this fall/winter. :) So after Steve and I left the party, we went back to his house to watch Kyle XY which ended up being the Season Finale and they are going to continue next season but I'm so pissed with the way they left it hanging. :( It sucks. So then I went home and chatted online and talked to this awesome guy named Leonard and we have A LOT in common. :) It's pretty cool actually. We talked until like 3:30am and then I had to go to bed. I was exhausted.
Monday: I didn't get up until noon today. Although I still didn't get enough sleep but I had to get up and go to Petco with Steve to see about his lizard. I probably would've told him to go without me but his lizard was at my house so I had to get up and go with him. Plus I needed crickets for my lizard. Anyways, I got up and got ready to go. Steve came and picked me up and took the lizard to Petco. He asked the lady that had been helping us about him and what not. His lizard is staying over night at Petco and then when she comes in tomorrow morning, she's going to take him to Parkway since they do the exotic animals there and we're hoping that they're only going to cut off part of his tail...because it's looking like half of his tail is like dead...like there's no circulation or something in it. Let's hope though that's only what it is. Steve's all upset and nervous about it. I think he blames himself. I'm not sure though. After that, we came back to my house to feed Egor and then went and got some food and then went back to Steve's house. After we ate lunch, we watched TV for a little bit and then I asked him if we could go to his room and he could scratch my back until I fell asleep cause I wanted to take a nap so we went to his room and I fell asleep for 2 hours. I woke up and we watched CSI for like an hour and a half and then started watching My Favorite Martian and then stopped it cause I had to go grocery shopping and then went home. So here I sit...chatting with Leonard. Earlier I talked to Megan and had a great conversation with her on the phone. I think we're meeting up tomorrow after I get out of class so I'm kinda excited about that. OH!!! THE COOLEST THING HAPPEND TODAY THOUGH! I got an email message on Myspace from some girl named Danielle so I read what she wrote and it's the girl that I lived across from at my old house on Connecticut. She found me on myspace which is awesome. I used to think about her a lot and wonder whatever happened to her after I moved and what not. Turns out that they still live in the same house. It's pretty cool. Sorry just had to add that in there.
Okay well that was my Labor Day weekend. It was pretty eventful and interesting I must say. LoL. I hope everybody else had a great weekend!
Amy
|
|
| Situations and Horoscopes |
[Wednesday
August 30th] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
So yeah, there's been a lot going on with me that I really can't write about. I'd like to tell my friends that mean something but either they're too busy or they won't call me back. :\ Whatever I guess. Here's what my horoscope says....
Making little decisions is like taking quick, exhilarating breaths of fresh air. Making your final choice could be more of a challenge. How can you say that one thing is better than another thing when it`s all so good? Everyone`s here for the experience, anyway. Those who still care will stick around another few days for making an actual commitment. Meanwhile, talk is cheap and plentiful. The combined knowledge of many people swirls around you in a pleasing tide. When it comes to having ideas based on what you hear, you`re rich beyond your wildest dreams.
Interesting and relates to what is going on in my life. *sigh* The underlined statements are what REALLY applies to my situation. :\ I don't know...Things will work out...I THINK....
Amy
|
|
| A Shitty Weekend. |
[Sunday
August 27th] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sick |
] |
Hey all...Well my weekend has been pretty shitty. :(
Friday: After work, I went home and started my clean. *sigh* I got a good chunck of it done but I didn't really get to see Steve very much. :( I ended up not going to bed until 3:30am because I had a horrible stomachache and well...I almost started crying cause it hurt so bad. Grrr...
Saturday: SUPER tired because of not going to bed at a good time and totally feeling like shit still. I didn't end up going to school because of both reasons. I don't think my mom was too happy about that. *sigh* I am an adult and I can have a day off ya know? So yeah. I got some of my cleaning done and then went over to my cousin's house and had dinner and played some cards. Although I wasn't feeling too good over there but then went I eventually got home, I felt sicker. *sigh* I don't know what's wrong with me. :( Another thing happened after I got home but I'll only talk about that to the important people that I trust. :)
Today: Finishing up cleaning and then possibly seeing Steve in a while. I don't know what we're going to do since I STILL don't feel good today. I don't know what's wrong. :( *wipes tears* Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.
Amy
Pic's are still coming...I have to charge my digital camera batteries so I can take pictures. :)
|
|
| I got a new baby bearded dragon!!!! Pic's coming soon. |
[Thursday
August 24th] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
content |
] |
Hey all. I just wanted to give an update on how things are going.
Basically what has happened about the whole "pet" situation is that I called Petco on Monday and told them about my Pacman Frog. They said that I could return him and get something else if I wanted to. I ended up getting a bearded dragon like Steve although mine is way cuter. :D As everybody knows...(I think)...my dad is dead set against me having yet another animal in the house for some stupid reason. Anyways, monday evening after I left Steve's house, I brought my new dragon home with me and snuck him and his cage inside the house. :) Tuesday night after getting home from school, I tried getting my mom to say that I could have a pet but I didn't have any such luck. Then I tried the same with my dad but I didn't have any luck with him either. :( I didn't know what else to do since I felt HORRIBLE about keeping my baby dragon a secret so Wednesday morning before going to work, I told my mom that I already had my lizard in the house. She couldn't believe that I snuck him in and that I am so wasteful with my money. :\ Whatever. I told her that I was taking him to Mike's house with me and then Steve was going to come and pick him up after work and he was going to live there. When I brought him downstairs, my mom came into the kitchen and was trying to see him in the cage. He was hiding in the tree so I took him out and showed her. She thought he was cute and told me that she would talk to dad about it. So mom called me around noon and told me that I could have my baby dragon under 2 conditions.
1. They don't want to "smell" him or the cage (since I'm so irresponsible they say)
2. I gotta clean my room and basement and keep it that way.
The second one is going to be difficult. *shrug* Oh well. I'd do anything for my baby pet. :D So wednesday night, after going to Steve's house to see his mom for her b-day, I brought him home and got him set up for the time being until I get things situated in my room. :)
As for school, we are now in the graduated part of our books and I'm kinda excited about it. :) We did our first excercise tonight and it wasn't so bad. The other day in school, I finished another perm and didn't have such a hard time with it this time. :) Which is definitly a GOOD thing. I'm happy that I'm going to stick with it and hopefully I don't start feeling like that again. If so, I'll have to pull my teacher aside and explain that I'm having a hard time in class and need some encouragement or something. :\ Anyways, that's all for now. Night all!
Amy
|
|
| Another Try! |
[Thursday
August 17th] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 nervous |
] |
Well I had a long talk with my teacher tonight and well...I told her that I was thinking about quitting school and all the shit that happened with my dad. :\ We talked for a while which surprises me because we only have a 3 hour class. I swear we must have talked for about 45 minutes to an hour. I told her about my past with my dad and EVERYTHING! Which shocks me because I NEVER talk about with just anybody and I opened up to her to let her know why I react to things like I do. :\ So in the end, I'm going to try to stick this all out and try to relax about things. So anyways, I'm going to try and stick it out. By the way, if anybody knows of any cheap apartments or anything like that...LET ME KNOW! I need to get out of my house and NEVER look back.
Amy
|
|
| Quitting School |
[Monday
August 14th] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
confused |
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Okay I just wanna say one thing and then I'm off to bed....
I'm pretty sure that I'm going to end up quitting school. No matter what ANYBODY says to me...I'm unhappy and I don't want to be in school right now. I've talked to Steve, Steph, my Mom and everybody says the same thing. There is no use for me to stay and hate my life everyday for making a choice. I'm not happy with myself for quitting but I'm not saying that I won't go back to school at a later date. I think I got a little too ahead of myself when I was thinking about this and didn't think of EVERYTHING that needed to be thought of. I'm NOT ready for something like this. Emotionally or Mentally! I can't deal with the stress of worrying if I'm doing something wrong. I think all this needs to wait awhile. Like I said, I'm not saying that I won't eventually go back...but this is my decision. I don't want anybody's opinion on it because to be honest, it doesn't concern anybody else but me. Nobody knows how I feel about all this and I guess it's kinda hard to explain. I'm not like everybody else. I hate school...and I've always hated school. Obviously school isn't a good thing for me. I have too much other stuff going on. I think I'm more book smart then actual hands on kinda thing if that makes any sense. I don't want any comments about this...I don't want to talk about it anymore...I don't want to hear how any of you are disappointed in me or ANYTHING. I have to make this decision for myself and I know that I'm going to regret pretty much anything I end up doing but...this is MY life....I do appreciate the support from everybody but...I guess I'm not looking for the support to stay in school. I guess I needed support to help me be strong to quit. I've been torn up about this for quite some time but...I can't do what everybody else wants me to do. I need to do what I HAVE to do for me to be happy. I don't want to revert back into a depression because I'm doing something that I don't want to do anymore. I can't let myself get back into that place. I've already started wishing that I could just die and make this all go away and I know that's not what I need to be telling myself. If school is going to do that to me...then this just wasn't the right time. :( I'm sorry if anybody gets offended by this but...I can't help that. I'm sorry.
Amy
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creativegirl85's journal
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